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  1. #1
    Participating User Tex Arcana's Avatar
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    BWAHAHAAA!!!


    Damn, that was good.. thanks! The only thing I would change is the preferred drinks:

    F1: wine/mixed drinks (you have no idea how plastered they get over there--hear about Raikkonen falling into a lake piss-drunk?? )
    (others: no change)
    NASCAR (or is that CRASHCAR?): piss/beer (because they drink that Amurrikin stuff that's just one step below horse weewee) :khana:

    Hey, you mind if swipe this for another forum?? I'll give you credit if you wish.

  2. #2
    Participating User dboat's Avatar
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    Sixer,

    I agree with you on all accounts. And the women that attend these events in order of intelligence, looks and golddiggerness are as follows:

    1) Formula One - was there any doubt? May not always be the best looking but they can golddig with the very best

    2) Indy Car

    3) CrashCar- usually white trash at its best, which at times can be pretty darned good, but the others have a higher volume of the good stuff

    Yes no women drivers in Formula One, but there have been precious few in any of them that you listed, and well Angolie (NHRA) is a motorcycle rider. (still pretty hot though) There was one other pretty good looking blonde female NHRA driver a few years back and she got out when she got pregnant, her brother was a driver too, think she drove Pro Stock but cant remember her name.. She got a fair amount of attention as well.

    As far a the women being umbrella holders in F1, wellllll.... what's wrong with that?

    Great post Dennis

    Dana
    Last edited by dboat; 05-29-2005 at 05:53 PM.

  3. #3
    TALON Senior Member Sixpipes's Avatar
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    Well, I don't mean to be disrespectful to any professional race drivers because I would have absolutely killed to be able to do that for a living. As a matter of fact, I am seeking a patent for a protective piece of equipment that I call the "Go_rilla" device. It provides protection for the driver's gonads, which we all know must be the size of coconuts to do what they do. Can't give you any details right now, but I'm going to make millions.

    Also, as an observation, most drivers seem to be in great shape these days and most work out on a regular basis; exception that comes to mind would be Jimmy Spencer. I also want to clear up a misunderstanding for the NASCAR drivers. Staying in shape has positive benefits when racing around oval tracks due to G-force. I would like to clear up the term "G-force" for the NASCAR fans out there. G-force is the force of G-R-A-V-I-T-Y on your body when taking a corner. It does not stand for the force exerted on your G-O-N-A-D-S.
    Last edited by Sixpipes; 05-29-2005 at 06:28 PM.

  4. #4
    Participating User Tex Arcana's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sixpipes
    Well, I don't mean to be disrespectful to any professional race drivers because I would have absolutely killed to be able to do that for a living. As a mater of fact, I am seeking a patent for a protective piece of equipment that I call the "Go_rilla" device. It provides protection for the driver's gonads, which we all know must be the size of coconuts to do what they do. Can't give you any details right now, but I'm going to make millions.

    Also, as an observation, most drivers seem to be in great shape these days and most work out on a regular basis; exception that comes to mind would be Jimmy Spencer. I also want to clear up a misunderstanding for the NASCAR drivers. Staying in shape has positive benefits when racing around oval tracks due to G-force. I would like to clear up the term "G-force" for the NASCAR fans out there. G-force is the force of G-R-A-V-I-T-Y on your body when taking a corner. It does not stand for the force exerted on your G-O-N-A-D-S.

    F1 drivers have been working out like professional athletes since the late 70's, including doing their jobbing during the heat of the day, so they can be acclimated to the heat.

    Remember that little "drive swap" last year between Montoya and Gordon?? They ahd to tape extra padding in Montoya's cockpit, so Jeff could hold his head up while taking the turns. And when they showed Derek Daly's drive of the Jordan, he said that he had to had an extra pad behind his helmet, because he couldn't hold it up against the ACCELERATION of the F1 car!!!

    Yeah, I'd say F1 is the one of the most brutal, right behind the Baja SCORE racers.

  5. #5
    Participating User Ivanhoe_Farms's Avatar
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    Wait a minute

    You seem to have left out two very important venues of racing -- to wit:

    Sports Car Racing ala LeMans, Sebring, Atlanta, NurnbergRing, Hockenheim, Aberbach

    Drag Racing

    Care to comment?
    Last edited by Ivanhoe_Farms; 05-29-2005 at 06:56 PM.

  6. #6
    Participating User Tex Arcana's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivanhoe_Farms
    You seem to have left out two very important venues of racing -- to wit:

    Sports Car Racing ala LeMans, Sebring, Atlanta, NurnbergRing, Hockenheim, Aberbach

    Drag Racing

    Care to comment?
    Sprts Car: akin to F1, tho not as brutal and technologically advanced. REAL racing, tho, not this "turn left 10,000 times and crash when someone flicks a booger out the window" crap.

    Drag racing: akin to "speed-masturbation": kinda fun to do, but gets boring real quick.

  7. #7
    TALON Sgt at Arms Moonshine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dboat
    And the women that attend these events in order of intelligence, looks and golddiggerness are as follows:


    3) CrashCar- usually white trash at its best, which at times can be pretty darned good, but the others have a higher volume of the good stuff



    Dana
    Without disagreeing with your generalization I proudly confess that I lust after Teresa Earnhardt. And, despite her syrupy southern drawl, she's a pretty sharp businesswoman.

  8. #8
    Participating User Shiner1's Avatar
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    Not to change the subject.....but this does have to do with racing. ESPN was reporting after the race that "unnamed sources" inside the league might consider a protest against Danika due to the weight advantage she has over the other drivers. She only weights 100lbs!! Do you think there is any truth to that or are they just pissed cause (all of them but 3) got their asses handed to them by a hottie?? I guess you have to get any advantage possible.
    95 - G1
    Blown, Stroked & Juiced

  9. #9
    Participating User Tex Arcana's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shiner1
    Not to change the subject.....but this does have to do with racing. ESPN was reporting after the race that "unnamed sources" inside the league might consider a protest against Danika due to the weight advantage she has over the other drivers. She only weights 100lbs!! Do you think there is any truth to that or are they just pissed cause (all of them but 3) got their asses handed to them by a hottie?? I guess you have to get any advantage possible.
    bwahahah.. now the crying begins... typical, maybe they'll file suit and require a minimum driver weight as well, and force 'em to strap weights to her... either that, or ban wimmins.

  10. #10
    Participating User dboat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shiner1
    Not to change the subject.....but this does have to do with racing. ESPN was reporting after the race that "unnamed sources" inside the league might consider a protest against Danika due to the weight advantage she has over the other drivers. She only weights 100lbs!! Do you think there is any truth to that or are they just pissed cause (all of them but 3) got their asses handed to them by a hottie?? I guess you have to get any advantage possible.
    I have heard that there might be a protest or that there might be a move for some rule changes. Although most of those guys are pretty little and dont weigh over 150 lbs. But a 50 lb advantage is pretty big.
    I dont hear anything of the sort coming out of F1 with the couple of larger drivers in the Schumacher brothers. I think its crap personally. What are you going to do? weigh each driver just before the race and make them add ballast to bring the lightest driver up to the same weight as the others? Its just a bunch of to me.
    Dana

  11. #11
    TALON Supporting Member Mark #2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dboat
    I have heard that there might be a protest or that there might be a move for some rule changes. Although most of those guys are pretty little and dont weigh over 150 lbs. But a 50 lb advantage is pretty big.
    I dont hear anything of the sort coming out of F1 with the couple of larger drivers in the Schumacher brothers. I think its crap personally. What are you going to do? weigh each driver just before the race and make them add ballast to bring the lightest driver up to the same weight as the others? Its just a bunch of to me.
    Dana
    Dana, F1 weighs drivers before and after the race. Total weight is the correct method. Drivers that are lighter still have an advantage because you can place the weight any where you want in the car. Yes even in CrashCar.
    Mark

  12. #12
    Registered User skalywags's Avatar
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    the best racing - Supercross and Pro MX. No discounting skill needed or the physical aspect. It is one of the most demanding of ALL the sports.

  13. #13
    Participating User Tex Arcana's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dboat
    I have heard that there might be a protest or that there might be a move for some rule changes. Although most of those guys are pretty little and dont weigh over 150 lbs. But a 50 lb advantage is pretty big.
    I dont hear anything of the sort coming out of F1 with the couple of larger drivers in the Schumacher brothers. I think its crap personally. What are you going to do? weigh each driver just before the race and make them add ballast to bring the lightest driver up to the same weight as the others? Its just a bunch of to me.
    Dana
    F1 regs state (no cut'n'paste here): "Cars must weigh no less than 605Kg (including the driver) during qualifying and at least 600Kg at all other times. Teams may use ballast to bring cars up to weight. This must be firmly secured to the cars. Ballast may not be removed or added during the race." And F1 teams arae looking for the lightest drivers they can find; if they find women drivers with the same or better skills than the men, they'll snag 'em up in a heatbeat.

  14. #14
    Participating User dboat's Avatar
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    Well Mark and Tex,

    Thanks for the education. I didnt realize that, although isnt that why one of the guys got sanctioned? because his car fell below the minimum weight? I guess I didnt connect the dots.
    Ok, new rant.. I think the cars should have a min weight requirement but if one driver is fatter or taller or skinnier than another, then so be it..

    Dana

  15. #15
    Participating User TP Derrick D's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dboat
    Sixer,

    I agree with you on all accounts. And the women that attend these events in order of intelligence, looks and golddiggerness are as follows:

    1) Formula One - was there any doubt? May not always be the best looking but they can golddig with the very best

    2) Indy Car

    3) CrashCar- usually white trash at its best, which at times can be pretty darned good, but the others have a higher volume of the good stuff

    Yes no women drivers in Formula One, but there have been precious few in any of them that you listed, and well Angolie (NHRA) is a motorcycle rider. (still pretty hot though) There was one other pretty good looking blonde female NHRA driver a few years back and she got out when she got pregnant, her brother was a driver too, think she drove Pro Stock but cant remember her name.. She got a fair amount of attention as well.

    As far a the women being umbrella holders in F1, wellllll.... what's wrong with that?

    Great post Dennis

    Dana
    I don't know if you are thinking of Rhonda Hartman-Smith or not,but she drove top fuel dragsters and she was married to a TF dragster race
    There is a female motorcycle racer ahead of Angelle in the points right now,I know her name just can't think of it right now. Angelle has a new last name for the 2nd time in less thaan 4 years. The 4 female drivers in Indy has been Janet Guthurie,Lynn St.James, Sara Fisher,Danicia Patrick.
    Yeah ,I follow NASCAR for 30 years now, I grew up in Alabama where NASCAR was cool before it became cool, Talladega 500 & Daytona 500 with the Alabama gang Donnie & Bobby Allison ,NHRA for 18 years and INDY for 25 years or so just in the past 10 on a regular basis,but I use to watch Gordon Johncock,AJ Foyt ,The Unsers, Mario, Johnny Rutherford, well you guys get the picture. NO F1 FOR ME !!!

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