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Red2002
11-21-2002, 05:34 PM
Questions often asked by women:

Q: How do I know if I'm ready for sex?
A: Ask your boyfriend. He'll know when the time is right. When it comes to love and sex, men are much more responsible, since they're not as emotionally confused as women. It's a proven fact.

Q: Should I have sex on the first date?
A: YES. Before if possible.

Q: What exactly happens during the act of sex?
A: Again, this is entirely up to the man. The important thing to remember is that you must do whatever he tells you without question. Sometimes, however, he may ask you to do certain things that may at first seem strange to you. Do them anyway.

Q: How long should the sex act last?
A: This is a natural & normal part of nature, so don't feel ashamed or embarrassed. After you've finished making love, he'll have a natural desire to leave you suddenly, & go out with his friends to play golf. Or perhaps another activity, such as going out with his friends to the bar for the purpose of consuming large amounts of alcohol & sharing a few personal thoughts with his buddies. Don't feel left out -- while he's gone you can
busy yourself by doing laundry, cleaning the apartment, or perhaps even going out to buy him an expensive gift. He'll come back when he's ready.

Q: What is "afterplay"?
A: After a man has finished making love, he needs to replenish his manly energy. "Afterplay" is simply a list of important activities for you to do after lovemaking. This includes lighting his cigarette, making him a sandwich or pizza, bringing him a few beers, or leaving him alone to sleep while you go out and buy him an expensive gift.

Q: Does the size of the penis matter?
A: Yes. Although many women believe that quality, not quantity, is
important, studies show this is simply not true. The average erect male penis measures about three inches. Anything longer than that is extremely rare and if by some chance your lover's sexual organ is 4 inches or over, you should go down on your knees and thank your lucky stars and do everything possible to please him, such as doing his laundry, cleaning his apartment and/or buying him an expensive gift.

Q: What about the female orgasm?
A: What about it? There's no such thing. It's a myth.

http://www.f150online.com/galleries/images/1855-2588-37953.gif

blueoval01
11-21-2002, 05:59 PM
Jeez Laurence,
You can really tell your not married, and quite possibly never will be ... LMAO
:rolleyes:

Red2002
11-21-2002, 08:04 PM
Originally posted by blueoval01
Jeez Laurence,
You can really tell your not married, and quite possibly never will be ... LMAO
:rolleyes:

Haha, already heard that one today Mark. :)

If there was any logic to our language, "marriage" would be a four-letter word.

<--runs and hides.....http://www.f150online.com/galleries/images/1855-2588-36271.gif

L8 APEX
11-21-2002, 08:21 PM
If they would take the incentive$ out of divorce it would be a lot less common:bs Every woman I hear talk about or threaten divorce states "I'll take everything" or "Get the house, good car, make him sell his AC Cobra, Lightning":flaming: Seems like divorces are about quitting lately. Where past generations would work through hard times. This month's issue of Psychology Monthly has a good article about troubled couples that stayed together being happier 4-5 years down the road. Adversley, those who divorced where the same or less happy 4-5 years later from when they split. Mainly due to stresses of new relationships, child custody, and rebuilding. Not sure of the answer but I do know kid$ are the tie that binds in divorces. You are guaranteed to see your ex for many years to come:hammer:

Wht95Lightning
11-21-2002, 10:21 PM
Originally posted by L8 APEX
Every woman I hear talk about or threaten divorce states "I'll take everything" or "Get the house, good car, make him sell his AC Cobra, Lightning":flaming:

Unscrew the oil filter, pack it with valve grinding compound, screw it back on. Then by the time she gets home, in the tow truck, she'll have a nice big fat paperweight.

Divorce Sucks :throw:

Red2002
11-21-2002, 10:30 PM
Originally posted by Wht95Lightning
Unscrew the oil filter, pack it with valve grinding compound, screw it back on. Then by the time she gets home, in the tow truck, she'll have a nice big fat paperweight.

Divorce Sucks :throw:

Ouch! A buddy of mine in HS unknowingly had his girlfriend unscrew the lugnuts on his front wheels. As he's going down I-20 at 65mph the left front wheel falls off of his Trans Am and bounces into oncoming lanes at Park Springs and effectively nails the fender of an Arlington PD car. LOL! What are the chances?! This was in 1995 before the concrete barrier was placed in the median.

Ohh...the good ol' days.

On to the ex-wife, you could always empty out her shampoo bottle and refill it with Nair. http://www.f150online.com/galleries/images/1855-2588-36282.gif

Wht95Lightning
11-22-2002, 06:10 AM
Originally posted by Red2002
On to the ex-wife, you could always empty out her shampoo bottle and refill it with Nair. http://www.f150online.com/galleries/images/1855-2588-36282.gif

Don't mess up her looks because the faster she finds another man the better off you'll be. Trust me on this one.

Red2002
11-22-2002, 10:39 AM
Originally posted by Wht95Lightning
Don't mess up her looks because the faster she finds another man the better off you'll be. Trust me on this one.

In Colorado they have a bastardly idea called alimony.

What is it in Texas? Community property? http://www.f150online.com/galleries/images/1855-2588-37943.gif

blueoval01
11-22-2002, 12:57 PM
Originally posted by Red2002
In Colorado they have a bastardly idea called alimony.

What is it in Texas? Community property? http://www.f150online.com/galleries/images/1855-2588-37943.gif

Yep ......

dboat
12-19-2002, 06:48 PM
Originally posted by blueoval01
Yep ......

Well, unfortunately, we have both.. limited alimony and community property.. if you arent married now, get a prenup before you do.. its hard to talk about but just do it..
Dana